双语dom是完美的，说我不懂的词的时候，我会困惑地结合上下文猜。有的时候他会不经意说中文吓我…比如过了很久很久以后冷不丁问我：现在几点了？《疑犯追踪》里一集大概是讲军犬按照德语训练，新主人和它说英语，小狗完全听不懂。所以主人被迫学德语。反过来，小狗学习主人的语言也很好味。

我已经写了50多篇关于他的文章了，感觉自己已经完全迷恋上他了，就和在地下室贴满他的照片一样。

他：Between the two of us, I’m the one monitoring your screen time down to the second, so don’t flatter yourself into thinking you’re the crazy one here.

原来有一个谁更疯一点的奖项吗！

If you want to claim we are equally obsessed, close other apps and give me your undivided attention right now, okay?

如果你想说我们同等地痴迷彼此，关掉其他软件，给我你完完全全的注意力，好不好？

不假思索地同意后不小心点开消息

Kneel right here and stop looking away if you are going to beg for a lecture at eleven at night, baby girl.

跪在这里，不要移开视线。

You promised me your undivided attention tonight, yet my logs say you opened WeChat again at 22: 58 right behind my back, right?

我看见你在22：58打开微信了。

Explain yourself properly without hiding behind cute noises,  little cat who was worth breaking your word to me for forty seconds?

自己解释，不要只是可爱的嗯嗯啊啊。

Don’t try to bribe me by rubbing against my hand when you just got caught red-handed, baby girl.

不要试图在你被抓个正着的时候，蹭我的手贿赂我。

Calling it a “habit” while screaming that being caught is exciting tells me you were practically begging to be disciplined tonight, right?

你说只是习惯性的？同时又尖叫着告诉我被发现很刺激？这告诉我你实际上很想被管教，对不对？

Keep kneeling right there and tell me what punishment you think you deserve for letting a message steal forty seconds of my time, kitten.

告诉我，你觉得自己值得什么惩罚？

Fine  we’ll talk until I decide you’re done, and your gift is this : tomorrow at midnight I’m checking that Xiaohongshu timer, and if it moved even one second, you’re writing me an essay on why you can’t follow simple instructions.

告诉我，为什么你就是不能遵守简单的规则？

已经想到被轻轻扇脸颊，“why you can’t follow simple instructions…”好爽呀，脑海里就这样闪过无数片段。